3 things you should learn before you're allowed to become a grown up:

1.  Before doing laundry, check all pockets for cash, receipts, or other pieces of paper you used to spit out your gum and saved for later.

2.  If you ever run out of toilet paper, cotton balls will do the job. 

3.  When meeting someone new, learn to distinguish the appropriate times for a normal adult handshake and a young cool guy slappin' five-type shake.