Douchebag is a hygienic product. I take that as a compliment. Thank you.

Saying you hate a bar in Newport Beach because it has too many douchy guys is the same as saying you hate every bar in Newport Beach.

There are two types of people in this world: those who want to hear 'Closing Time' at the end of the night when the bar closes, and those that want to hear Journey. The latter are the same people who back in to parking spaces.

The precise level of a guy's douchiness can be immediately determined by the number of top buttons left open.