Things I've Yelled at People at Starbucks (in my head):

• OH MY GOD DO NOT TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF AND PUT YOUR FEET UP ON THAT CHAIR IM'A LOSE MY SH*T ON YOU

• OH MY GOD YOU'RE AT THE REGISTER DO NOT PUT YOUR IPAD ON THE COUNTER TO READ THE NEWS AND JUST F**KING ORDER

• OH MY GOD NO ONE CARES THAT YOU'RE ON HOLD AND WAITING FOR THE NEXT AVAILABLE AGENT SO TURN OFF YOUR F**KING SPEAKER PHONE

• OH MY GOD UNLESS THAT DEAN KOONTZ PAPERBACK RUNS ON A RECHARGEABLE BATTERY WHY THE F**K WOULD YOU SIT AT THE TABLE NEXT TO THE ONLY AVAILABLE OUTLET