George Lucas presents!?!?! HAHAHA how did we not know this? And yes, Caroline in the City is in this. Tim Robbins? WTF? damn, this movie is already full of surprises. Howard just opened a beer and smoking a cigar. He got a sexy message from some "chick" lol Howard is a pimp. HAHA, and now he's reading Playduck. Holy shit, duck boobs. no joke. Naked duck chick in the tub and you see her boobs. Now the room is shaking, and Howard got thrown from his chair into the sky and he's flying through the cosmos and falls down to earth, and get chased around by some trannies. Then Lea Thompson gets mugged and Howard saves her cuz he's a master of "Quack Fu." Seriously, that's what he just said. His voice sounds like Steve Buscemi.
80's soundtracks tell the whole story. Why bother with dialogue? So anyways, she takes him back to her place, which looks like a warehouse, and they have some beers. He tells her his story and then falls asleep. She starts petting him and I am tripping out. HAHAH, now shes looking through his wallet and finds a little duck condom!
So then she takes Howard in a trash bag to see Tim Robbins who's a scientist at a museum and he's kinda weird. "Get busy livin', or get busy quacking." No, not really. So Howard storms off and tells them both to fuck off.
So he goes to the unemployment office to get a job and he gets chewed out by some sassy black lady. Then he gets a job as a towel boy at a sex spa. no joke.
Then he find Lea Thompson's band playing at the same club, and he beats up her dick manager and stabs him with an ice pick to get the money he owes her. They make up and go back to her place. Now she's in her underwear and in bed together. wtf?
Then Tim Robbins comes back with two scientists, one is Principal Rooney from Ferris Beuller. He tells Howard that they accidentally shot some laser at his planet and it dragged him to earth. They can reverse the laser, but when they get there, the laser blew up and the principal was in the blast. But he's still alive, except he's possessed with some demon thing and he kidnaps Lea Thompson.
Then Howard and Tim Robbins get arrested, but they escape in some weird flying machine. So then Principal Rooney breaks into a power plant to get more power, duh. Then Howard and Tim Robbins find him at the laser strapping in Lea Thompson cuz he's gonna bring more of those demons down to earth. Except I thought the laser blew up. Whatever. I wasn't paying attention.
Howard and Tim Robbins break into some room to steal a top secret weapon, and apparently it only took a round house kick from a duck to get in. So they get the laser, some stupid shit happens, and they shoot the principal. He's still alive, but the demon is still there, and it totally looks like the Rancor from the beginning of Return of the Jedi. Thanks, George Lucas. So some more stupid shit happens and Howard shoots the monster with the weapon, but the laser is still pulling the other monsters to earth. So Howard has to blow up the laser even though he can't get back home now.
But it's all good cuz he becomes the manager for Lea Thompson's girl band. Oh, she's in a band. Did I mention that? Anyways, they play a song called "Howard the Duck" (duh) and Howard comes out on stage for the guitar solo. The End.
I should have watched Ghostbusters!
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