Here is an actual job listing I found the other day:
Bead Store Specialist / Sales Person
We are looking to open a bead store and need a sales person who knows a lot about beads and working in a bead shop!
- Minimum of 3 years of experience working specifically at a bead shop and beaded jewelry making
- Experience working at a retail bead store
- Friendly and great with customers
- Professional, honest, reliable, organized
Please send cover letter and resume.
"Bees?!!" "BEADDSSS!!" "BEADS??!" "Gob's not on board."
And if you're not on board with what I'm talking about, then I've probably ignored IMs and texts from you in the past.
Okay, let's start with the obvious: USA is the best fucking country in the world. Way to get out of that recession guys! The bead industry is hiring again. I can't believe there is a bead specialist somewhere who is about to be gainfully employed, while my law degree continues to collect dust. Seriously, three years experience? Has any bead shop ever stayed open for that long? I'd love to see the resumes and cover letters submitted by these applicants. If someone gets to put "Bead Store Specialist" on their resume, then I get to list "Simpsons quotes" under special skills.
"They don't allow you to have bees in here." Buzz Buzz.
If Blockbuster wasn't going under, your years of loyal service as a shrink-wrapper, would have really impressed some.
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